


I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

by MrsDavidSpade



Category: Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live RPF
Genre: F/F, Nightmare, Teen Crush, dream - Freeform, snl au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6811507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsDavidSpade/pseuds/MrsDavidSpade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{A/U!!} Chris Farley's daughter Lucy might have to say goodbye to her best friend, and secret crush, David Spade's daughter Chloe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nevercomestheday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercomestheday/gifts).



16 year-old Lucy Farley lay on her neatly made bed, her basement bedroom pitch black and deadly silent; something that was completely unusual for her. Then again, this was not an ordinary night.

Tonight, her family had just gotten some of the worst news imaginable.

She could only imagine what was going on in the mind's on her best friend Chloe Spade's family right next door.

That was because...

That night....

Just a few hours before, though to Lucy it felt like an eternity ago, the Farleys had gotten a call that Chloe had gotten in a horrible car crash and was in the ICU.

Lucy couldn't make another sound. She had already sobbed and cried so much, her throat felt like it was on fire and her lungs hurt so bad it hurt to breathe.

She had already cried herself dried as well. Her Heaven-sent blue eyes that perfectly matched her father's were now red and blood-shot and her face was warm and sticky with tears.

Chloe meant everything to Lucy.

Literally. Not only did she and Chloe start being friends before they even entered the world, share a birthday, Lucy being a few hours older, and do basically everything together, but Chloe meant so much more to Lucy than just a BFF.

Chloe was Lucy's secret crush as well.

A soft knock on Lucy's bedroom door knocked her out of her thoughts.

Lucy shot her head up to see her dad standing in the doorway, a look of mix seriousness and concern on his face.

Something VERY unusual for Chris Farley.

Father and daughter just spent a moment or two looking at each other in utter silence until Chris broke the silence, clearing his throat nervously.

"Um, I just thought you'd like to go see Chloe at the hospital", he told Lucy, a little afraid of how she would react.

Lucy rolled over a bit, taking one of her throw pillows and hugging it close to her chest, more tears threatening to fall.

She wanted to go visit Chloe. More than anything in the world.

But she couldn't stand the thought of her very best friend hooked up to all those wires and machines. Machines that were keeping her alive.

Plus Lucy had no idea how bad Chloe's condition would be.

'A-And', she thought, more tears falling, stiffling a sob, 'what if something happens while I'm there?'

It was as if Chris read his daughter's thoughts. He walked over and sat next to her on the bed, placing a comforting hand on her back, rubbing in circles.

He kissed her head before saying to her softly, "Lucy, honey, nothing's going to happen to Chloe."

Lucy continued to cry into the pillow she was clutching just a bit tighter before turning her head slightly to look Chris in the eye.

"You promise, Daddy?" she asked softly, suddenly feeling like a four year-old again who could just talk to her father and he'd make everything alright again.

Chris took a deep breath, not sure what to say next. He couldn't exactly make his daughter this particular promise. Hell, he didn't even know HOW bad Chloe's condition was himself.

All David had told him over the phone was that Chloe had gone out with some of her girlfriends from her weekly study group and they had gotten into a bad crash on the way home.

That wasn't what the police said however.

Apparently, the REAL story was, Chloe had gone out with her girlfriends from her weekly study group after it was over and one of the girls had gotten some beer from her older brother. Chloe started drinking along with them and they crashed into another driver.

Chris decided it was best to just tell Lucy the truth.

"I can't tell you that for sure, sweetie", he said softly, watching fresh tears fill his daughter's eyes.

Chris pulled her in a tight hug, kissing and stroking her hair every so often, not knowing what else to do to help her.

***

After Lucy had calmed down some, she had agreed to let Chris drive her to the hospital. It was around 2:30 in the morning when they reached the ICU but neither Chris nor Lucy cared.

They spotted David instantly, sitting in a chair outside the large double doors, head in hands, dark green jacket halfway off his body.

Chris and Lucy walked over and took a seat beside him, Chris placing a gentle hand on his best friend's shoulder, causing David to jump out of his skin and his head to snap up. Plus he looked exhausted.

This made Chris feel even worse.

"I'm sorry, Davy", Chris said softly. "I-I didn't mean to scare you."

"Chris", David breathed, a hand over his heart, "I'm so glad it's you!"

"Who'd you think it was?" Chris asked with a tiny smile, scoffing a bit.

David went silent and Chris suddenly remembered why they were there. He looked down at his feet as a frown slowly made its way across his face.

'Oh', Chris thought. 'David probably thought it was a doctor about Chloe. Poor guy must have been talking to them all day.'

Chris snapped his head up to look at his best friend again, only to see him looking towards the ICU doors, hands entwined.

"David", Chris said softly, "can I get you something? Some water, coffee maybe?"

David scoffed, quickly turning his head towards Chris.

"Gee, Chris y'know that's probably the number one question these fucking nurses have been asking me all damn day!" he snapped.

Chris would have yelled back if it weren't for the situation and for the fact he saw fresh tears forming in his best friend's eyes.

Instead of yelling, Chris reached over and pulled David in a tight hug.

Lucy decided now would be a better time than never to speak up. She peeked over at David from her seat next to her dad.

"H-How's Chloe doing, David?" she asked quietly, afraid she was going to upset him even more.

David sniffed and looked over at his God-daughter, wiping some stray tears away with the back of his hand.

"The doctor told us a little while ago she has massive bleeding on her brain", David told both Chris and Lucy, whose eyes grew a little wider with each piece of information. "both ribs are broken, a lung's shattered, and there's a likely chance-"

David had to stop talking for a second to compose himself for the next word he had to say.

"there's a likely chance-", he continued through a chocked sob, "if she survives-"

"If?!" Lucy cried, horrified, tears filling her eyes as well.

"Lucy", Chris said to his daughter in a soft, yet firm voice, gripping her arm comfortably.

Lucy responded by burying her face in her dad's shoulder.

"she'll never be able to walk again", David concluded, thankful what he had to say was done.

Chris was speechless. "Davy", he said softly, on the verge of tears for the first time since he found out the news of his God-daughter's accident, "I-I don't know what to say."

David looked away from Chris and turned his attention to the wall in front of him.

"You don't have to say anything Chris", he replied, a small scowl appearing on his face, tight frown included.

It was clear to Chris his best friend was doing whatever he could not to cry anymore.

Finally Chris decided to ask the first thing that came to his mind.

"Where's Deidra?"

David turned to look him in the eye again.

"She's back there with Chloe", he replied. "They'll only let one person back there at a time."

Chris nodded, looking down at his shoes again. "H-have you been back there with her yet?"

David nodded his head before looking at the wall again.

"Yup", he replied. "I was back there all afternoon until the doctors basically threw me out saying, "I'm sorry Mr. Spade. Visiting hours are over."' He scoffed. "Bullshit!"

Suddenly, they heard a loud click followed by the double doors slowly opening. Deidra slowly walked out to where her husband was, brushing away a few tears from her face.

"Hey, Dee", Chris said softly, giving her a comforting smile before standing up and giving her a hug.

"Hey Chris", Deidra whispered back, more tears escaping from her eyes and onto his shoulder.

Once they broke apart, Deidra spotted Lucy.

"Hey, Lucy", she said softly, her voice now dry and hoarse.

Lucy smiled back and held her hand up as if to say hi. She was afraid to say anything because she didn't want her nor Deidra to start crying again.

"How's she doing?" David asked softly, his face filled with concern.

Deidra closed her eyes and held her head down, shaking it no.

Lucy bit her lip so hard she was afraid it might bleed. Did this mean??

It did but not quite.

"The doctor said there's way too much pressure on her brain for her to come back from this", Deidra said softly, as David stood up, wrapping an arm around her.

"Well, i-isn't there a type of surgery they could do to relieve some of the pressure?" Chris asked.

"There is", Deidra replied with a sigh, "but at Chloe's state, the doctor said, it's just too dangerous."

She looked up at David, who was crying again too.

"So what do we do now?" David wanted to know, already knowing the answer and not liking it.

Deidra braced herself for what she was going to say next. Something no parent should ever have to say about their child.

"We have to let her go", she said through tears, burying her face in David's chest afterwords.

"What?!" Lucy cried, overhearing the entire conversation. "Y-You can't!! T-there's gotta be something they can do!! Just something! Please! PLEASE!!" Tears were pouring fast and furious down her face.

Chris took his daughter in his arms, allowing her to bury her face in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

This went on for a few minutes until Chris got an idea. He looked up at David who was still doing what he could to comfort Deidra and asked, "Uh, Dave? Would it be ok with you and Dee if Lucy goes back there and sees Chloe?"

David nodded his head and smiled. "Of course Chris", he said softly.

Lucy looked up at David like he had just given her a million dollars out of his own hand. "Thank you David", she whispered gratefully.

****

Lucy slowly walked into the ICU, checking out her surroundings. Machines hissed and beeped in all different directions. Beds were in all different parts of the room separated by thick curtains but all Lucy cared about was finding Chloe's bed.

She finally came to a bed with a folder with the words 'Spade, C.' on the end of it. Knowing it was Chloe's, Lucy braced herself before looking up and seeing machines and all kinds of wires surrounding her very best friend.

Lucy also took notice that Chloe looked like Chloe but yet she didn't. Her face, once full of color and life was now lifeless and as white as a bed sheet. The only bit of color she had left it seemed was her dirty blonde hair which fell down her shoulders onto her bed sheets.

Lucy noticed that Chloe's eyes were shut as well and the sound of the heart monitor beside her friend's bed meant that she was still alive.

It was a comfort to her in a way.

However, Lucy's comfort would be shot lived. She had only been with Chloe for about five minutes or so when she felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump out of her skin.

"Oh, I'm so sorry", said an unfamiliar male voice behind her.

Lucy turned her head away from Chloe's sight to see a doctor standing directly behind her, a solemn look on his face. Though to Lucy, it was more like a look of pity.

"I'm terrible sorry, Miss", the doctor said after a moment or two, "but the parents have decided to go ahead and pull the plug."

Lucy felt her heart sink to her stomach and all the blood drain from her face. 'No' she thought. 'No! I can't let Chloe just slip away from me like this!' She didn't even notice the tears starting to fall down her face again. 'I only have one more chance!'

"Isn't there anything-" Lucy begged. "ANYTHING at all you can do?!"

The doctor felt pitiful for Lucy but shook his head no, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Miss", he said, causing Lucy to sob out loud after he let out the last word. "Her parents have already asked me the same exact thing and I have explained to them that it wouldn't matter either way. There is JUST too MUCH blood on her brain."

He paused, giving Lucy time to sink all the information in.

"I'm terribly sorry", he said before asking her to step out of sight for a moment.

Lucy slowly walked away, looking at Chloe over her shoulder as she went.

The doctor gave her one more 'I'm so sorry' look before closing the curtains.

Lucy buried her face in her hands, sobbing and crying as she listened to the sounds of the different machines as the doctor unhooked Chloe from life support.

To Lucy, each sound was like another knife stabbing her in the heart; each more painful than the last.

She felt herself sinking slowly down the cold ICU wall, falling to the floor just as the doctor walked up to her again.

"Miss?" he said quietly.

Lucy slowly looked up, her eyes now blood shot and face sticky with tears.

"Yes?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

The doctor cleared his throat before saying, "You may see your friend-"

Lucy cut him off but jumping to her feet and started to run back to Chloe's bedside again but the doctor grabbed her by her shirt sleeve saying in a quiet voice, "but you don't have much time."

That last statement caused all of Lucy's hope to shatter.

She walked back over to Chloe's bedside where Lucy only say her friend hooked up to only an IV and heart monitor.

It was at that moment, just looking at Chloe's face, Lucy knew what she had to do.

It was now or never.

Taking a seat next to Chloe's bed, Lucy took Chloe's hand, being careful of her IV and took a deep breath.

"Ok", Lucy sighed. "I don't know if you can hear me or not Chloe, but-"

Lucy cut herself off, to chock back a sob and wipe some tears away with her free hand.

"but there's something I've always wanted to tell you ever since-"

She had to pause again, taking the chance to look at Chloe's chest. It was slowing down a little bit. Not much but just a little bit.

"ever since I can remember I-I've always liked you as more than a friend and-"

'Oh!' Lucy's thoughts cried as she watched her tears hit Chloe's white hospital bed sheets. 'This isn't coming out right!'

'Just say what's in your heart, Lucy!' a different voice in her head told her.

Lucy knew that voice! She knew that voice anywhere!

It was Chloe!

"I think you're beautiful", Lucy confessed. "I think you're amazing, funny, and you're one of the greatest people I've ever known. To be honest...-"

Lucy noticed Chloe's chest starting to slow down more and more now.

Time was running out!

"I think I love you", Lucy confessed, feeling like a HUGE weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "There I said it!" she cried to herself more than to Chloe. "I love you! I love you Chloe Elizabeth Spade!!"

"Sing to me", Chloe's voice whispered in Lucy's head.

"Sing what?" the voice in Lucy's head responded.

"The song you heard on the radio last week", Chloe's voice said. "The one you wanted to tell me about."

Lucy smiled down at Chloe's still body, gripping her hand a little tighter before she began to sing softly:

"I can't fight this feeling any longer  
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow  
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger  
I only wish I had the strength to let it show  
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever  
I said there is no reason for my fear  
Cause I feel so secure when we're together  
You give my life direction  
You make everything so clear.

As Lucy sang, she noticed the heart monitor next to her was dragging slower and slower. Not only that but it had started raining outside as well. Lucy could hear the sounds of rain hitting the window behind her.

And even as I wander  
I'm keeping you in sight  
You're a candle in the window  
On a cold, dark winter's night  
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might  
And I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
It's time to bring this ship into the shore  
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
And if I have to crawl upon the floor  
Come crashing through your door  
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore"

Lucy leaned down and kissed Chloe's warm, colorless lips passionately, cupping her cheek with her free hand as tears fell down her face until she heard the heart monitor flat line.

Chloe Spade was gone.

Lucy buried her face in Chloe's chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Chloe!" she sobbed, stroking her hair and kissing her lips, cheek, and neck. "Don't leave me! Please don't leave me here! Please!!"

****

"Please don't leave me here", Lucy murmured in her sleep, tossing and turning under her blankets, tears falling down her face. "Please Chloe don't."

Lucy's eyes snapped open at the sound of four knocks on her bedroom door.

'A dream!' she thought with happiness. 'Holy schnikes it was all a dream! Oh thank goodness!' She fell back against her pillows in pure realif. It was an even BIGGER realif when she heard the voice on the other side of the door:

"Housekeeping!" Chloe's voice called from the other side, doing a bad impression of a Mexican maid.

Lucy smiled a little, wiping the tears from her face. She quickly and quietly got back under her covers, pretending she had just been woken up.

"No thank you", she called back, in a half-asleep voice. "Sleeping!"

Four more knocks on the door.

"Housekeeping you want towel?" Chloe called.

"No towels!" Lucy called back. "Need sleepy!"

Four more knocks.

"Housekeeping you want mint for pillow?"

Lucy stiffled her giggles into her pillows before putting on an angry act. "Please go away let me sleep for the LOVE OF GOD!!" she cried, throwing her covers over her head.

Four. More. Knocks.

"Housekeeping you want me jerk you off?"

"Please", Lucy moaned to herself, making sure Chloe couldn't hear her.

"What kinda hotel is this?" Lucy asked, getting out of bed and walking towards her closed bedroom door. "Who the hell are-" She opened it to find Chloe standing there, a smile on her face.

'The prettiest smile I've ever seen', Lucy thought.

'Oh it's you!" Lucy said, pretending to be annoyed.

"Good morning, Sunshine", Chloe replied with a smirk, causing both girls to burst out laughing.

They ALWAYS did that 'Housekeeping' routine every time Chloe went over to Lucy's place.

"I LOVE doing that!" Chloe remarked, walking further into Lucy's room. "I know, right?" Lucy replied.

After that it was silent between the girls until Chloe spoke up. "Hey, guess what?" she said. "There's this big sale at the mall. You wanna go?"

The more Lucy looked at Chloe the more she remembered her dream, and the more scared she got.

Chloe noticed her friend was upset about something. Her smile disappeared. "You ok, babe?" she asked. "You look like you had a rough night."

"Huh?" Lucy asked, snapping out of her thoughts. "Oh, i-it's nothing Chloe. I-I just had a nightmare last night is all."

"A nightmare?" Chloe asked as she sat on the edge of Lucy's bed. "What was it about?"

Lucy's eyes went wide as she put a bra on followed by a pair of pants and a Taylor Swift shirt {as usual} "Oh, um, nothing", she said. "Nothing important."

Lucy grabbed her flip flops out of her closet and headed for the door. "C'mon let's go!"

But Chloe wasn't letting this go. "C'mon, Luc!" she said, following close behind. "You're my best friend! You can tell me anything!"

Lucy laughed nervously. "It was nothing Chloe forget it!"

"I will NOT!" Chloe said with a hint of a teasing tone. "Now c'mon tell me! Pwease!!"

As the girls walk out of Lucy's house, they're heard 'arguing' about this until it fades to black...

**Author's Note:**

> I do NOT own the lyrics to the song! They belong to the writers and the band!!


End file.
